Tagged Again

Karen! You're added...

Blah

I am so tired. I was up way too late at the women's retreat, and talked the entire weekend (what else do we do when we get together?). I think I am just emptied out. I am one of those introverts that gets their energy from being alone, and after being with women all weekend, and my husband all day yesterday, I think I am burned out. I know, many of you will say like my parents, an introvert?? My father trained me well in how to socialize properly, ask questions, find out about others, meet & make new people feel welcome....it's more training that started early and now is more like second nature when I'm in groups. But the truth is, I hate big groups. I can't talk to anyone, and I feel as insecure as the next person. I'd rather be busy with a task in those situations (hence, hosting parties).
So today, I don't want to be around anyone, I just want to regroup and do some brainless activity (TV anyone?). I have no desire to work on my to do list, and I am thankful no one called all morning. I spent some great time with the boys playing and catching up with them.

But I do have to share....yesterday, we went shopping to wrap up the boys' summer clothes - and we got a million things at Children's Place! All the sale stuff was 50% off, so I got 10 polos for $3 each. I was so excited! They both had lots of play stuff, but needed shorts & I can never get enough polos for them. I don't have to have RL or Gap (though both are too cute!), I just can't do places like Old Navy for them since everything there shrinks or is really 2 sizes smaller for LJ. And it's got to at least attempt to last thru JD. I really do not enjoy shopping, so I try to do it all in one shot. I always envy my friends that find such great deals all of the time and don't spend more than $3 on any item, EVER. Yesterday was my day!

Tagged

I'm not entirely sure how this being tagged thing works, but in an effort to post a different kind of blog today, and to re-motivate me, I will try.

It starts with remembering where I was 10 years ago. I was at Auburn in April 1998. We were probably mid-quarter, as we were on the quarter system. If I recall correctly, I was taking a philosophy class, and I had my first spring allergies - it was terrible! My eyes watered so much, and my nose kept running, that I could not concentrate to study or take the test one day. I think that was the only test I just flat-out failed. My hands were too busy taking care of my nose & eyes that I couldn't stop long enough to write the essay questions in an hour. And of course, many buildings in Auburn had no air conditioning. But despite everything, I was in love with Auburn. My college years at Auburn have a magic all their own.

5 things on my list to do today:
1) Set up dinner with our pastor & his family.
2) Make Jack's 1 year doctor appt in June.
3) Make sweet potatoes for Jack.
4) Make dinner.
5) Do Sealing Agents work.

5 things to do tomorrow:
1) Lucas' OT
2) my dr appt
3) find something for me to do with the boys in the morning after OT
4) Probably make sweet potatoes for Jack since it probably will not get done today.
5) take a shower

5 snacks I enjoy:
1) chocolate
2) coffee
3) more chocolate - cookies, ice cream, brownies
4) caramel/peanut butter chex mix
5) either pineapple dip or taffy apple dip

5 things I would do if I were a billionaire:
1) fix up my husband's car the way he wants it so it's DONE
2) give a lot away to ministries
3) get someone to clean my house (i really hate cleaning)
4) build a pool & patio in my backyard
5) have a part-time chef to cook the nights I don't feel like it & an on-call babysitter or grocery shopper (I really don't enjoy grocery shopping on a budget with 2 boys)

5 bad habits:
1) coffee/caffeine
2) chocolate
3) lack of exercise (really, when do I have time AND energy?)
4) letting my husband do all the clean up work around here oftentimes
5) not dealing with conflict when needed (esp with g'parents)

5 places I have lived:
1) Talmidge, OH (near Akron) - 1 year in a renter's house during dad's residency
2) Alma, MI - grew up in for 14 years
3) Charlotte, NC - spent high school, 1 year post-college, and now reside in a suburb, Matthews
4) Auburn, AL - BEST 4 years spent here
5) Birmingham, AL - 18 months of newlywed craziness

5 jobs I have had:
1) Nanny
2) Assistant in real estate (BORING)
3) Bookkeeper/Assistant in waterproofing business
4) Part-time at Ann Taylor Loft - really, not a bad job at all for retail!
5) Mom (BEST)

I want to know more about....
1) Elizabeth (since Abby didn't tag you - maybe you can find your password??) :)
2) Wini
3) Rachel
who else has a blog??

Legacy

Tonight I went to a thing that talked about leaving a legacy. It was something I had heard before. But not while I had 2 boys. Not while I am getting older, and realizing the huge legacy my parents, and their parents, and their grandparents have left me. I am richly blessed in that my parents' families on both sides had walking relationships with God. My dad & mom followed in their footsteps. My brother and I, by the grace of God, have followed in their footsteps. These are the things, to me, that make my life rich. Not my house, my new car, or my husband's medical job. My children are healthy, my husband loves me, and I cherish my simple life. There are many days lately, especially as LJ has gotten easier to manage, that I think "life can't get better than this."

Life

Okay, so amidst my new joyful attitude, yesterday came & blew it out. Well, at this point I would go into details, but the initial frustration, hurt, disappointment is pretty much over. Suffice it to say, my husband was tired, and when he's tired, I should have expectations in the negative category. He is not going to think beyond what he wants/needs to do, and I cannot expect otherwise. Even if it's the day we're supposed to celebrate my birthday. And the first day off he's had in 3 weeks.

So what do you do on a day like that? Years ago, I would have just swallowed the hurt and carried it with me for a long time without saying anything. Now, I am perfectly content with letting him know what is wrong. The problem is that whole male/female communication thing. It takes about 5 conversations for us to really hear what the other one is saying. He wants to blame it on hormones (WHY do they blame EVERYTHING on hormones???), I want to blame it on inconsideration.....it goes downhill from there. He says "get over it" (really, one of my pet peeves in our arguments, mainly because he whines about every ache & pain, and I have to suffer it patiently with him). So at the end of a really bad day for us, we finally have some great, deep, hard conversations - about everything: us, our family (our 4), our church, community, men relationships, change, etc. I challenged him on several things, and he expressed some of his deepest concerns. I appreciate that. I would rather get hard honesty than feel like I'm fighting an invisible beast.

I think it's hard for men with families. I think as women we don't give them enough credit for how responsible they feel for providing for their families, keeping the roof over their head, putting food on the table, providing for their kids, wanting to give their wives whatever our current desire is, working at their job and trying to move up, and feeling like they have to help us out all the time. I think most of them take it quite seriously, probably often feel like they fail (which we only add to sometimes), and many of them are probably very stressed at all the worries that plague them. I do think some husbands give up & just do whatever, but I would venture to say that is not the norm, at least early on in a marriage.

Sure, it's difficult for those of us with kids. It's hard to juggle everything and be the wife he wants us to be. But it's hard for him too. He needs our support and encouragement. He needs to feel desired, not just needed. In my 7th year of marriage, I very easily see how marriages don't always make it. If you don't push through, if you neglect your relationship, if you allow the kids to divide you & your spouse, you will be either fighting for a long time, or someone will leave. I am encouraged that Tim and I push through, because our marriage gets better. We have sought people to help us walk through different things, and we have both gleaned wisdom. But as a whole, marriage takes work, it takes self-inspection, it takes working very hard to pursue your spouse and admitting you don't have all the answers. I think ours really changed with having kids, and you have to change with it. I continue to have to remake myself as a person (or truthfully, allow God to change me and mold me) to adapt to our family of 4.

I am thankful that God is still working on me, and working on my husband. I cling to the hope that He will always be walking with us, and taking care of us. It doesn't mean we won't have bad days like yesterday, but it does mean I can count on Him to carry us through it, and use it to mold us to be more like Him.

And I am thankful to have a husband who is super sweet after our arguments....

On Christ the Solid Rock I Stand & other random thoughts

We sang that hymn today "On Christ the Solid Rock".
On Christ the Solid Rock, I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand.

I forgot how much I loved that hymn. It reminds me of a passage of Scripture that I fell in love with a couple of years ago. It's an oldie, but goodie as they say - part of Jesus' Sermon on the Mount.

Matthew 7:24-27, Jesus said:
"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash."

I love the word pictures this gives. The strength of the rock, the foundation. No matter what battered it, the house remained standing. It was impenetrable. It was resolute. There was a surety for the wise man of safety, shelter, protection, and steadfastness. I need all of those things in my life. God provides all of it, if I seek Him for it. "Ask, seek, knock" is a passage earlier in chapter 7. God is available if we go to Him, admit His authority/Kingship, and our humble, desperate need of Him in our lives.

I feel like this passage is an accurate description of where I am in my life and my relationship with Jesus right now. I have 2 kids. LJ was very high maintenance last year, while I also gave birth to JD. I feel like the storms tossed me around, overwhelmed me at times, but in the end, I just crouched down close to the Rock (Jesus Christ), hung tight, sought His comfort and wisdom, and the winds finally blowed over me. Now, I can't take any credit for the crouching close to Jesus. I have been walking with God, His Spirit in me, for a long, long time. I have done my own share of straying, doubting, ignoring His presence, but He has not left my side. I think sometimes His Spirit gives me such grace, in that He doesn't let me stray that far in the first place, and that's just part of His plan for me. He is always there when I come back. He has been, without a doubt, my Rock in life. And maybe He does that, just to encourage others that He is real and involved in the details of our lives.

I am not generally a worrier. I think that bothers, or maybe just baffles, some people. But I just have gotten to the point where, if God is who He says He is, if He is all-powerful, all-knowing, than what can little ol' me do to change things that He's got under control? That's not to say that I don't take precautions, I don't try to think things through, or I get careless; but I don't want the burden of worrying. I've got plenty of other burdens I choose to carry instead of give over to the Lord like I should.

But I tangent. Our church celebrated their 5 year anniversary today. They had a video of several members telling what the church had meant to them, after Harrison taught on Acts 2, which is a passage describing what the first New Testament church looked like.

"They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved." Acts 2:42-47

The testimonies revealed that we definitely "gave to anyone as he had need", and that God has added to our number through the authenticity of simple families living for Him. Several testimonies were of changed lives, changed relationships, and it wasn't the just stand up and say what you like about such and such ministry. These people found a God who is loving, and whose grace covers all of their sin. A God who is so amazing, they are just now experiencing what unconditional love is. And what is grace? Grace is undeserved favor. Undeserved mercy. God reached down to us, loved us enough to sacrifice His Son to death on a cross, and conquered death (O death, where is thy sting? Hosea 13:14) through the resurrection of Jesus Christ. That victory over death, THAT is what gives me hope, shows me love. Because I can believe in a God who is that BIG, that POWERFUL. That is the Solid Rock on which I stand, and releases me from all fear. I guess, through the testimonies of these sweet men and women, I saw for a moment how desperate they had been for hope and mercy and grace and love in their lives. I haven't known that kind of desperation, not really. I have been told how great (as in powerful) and loving God is for as long as I can remember. And this morning, my eyes were opened as I saw the healing power of Jesus Christ. It was like seeing a life-saving surgery - they were dying (spiritually), and Jesus healed them, gave them the hope and love we all need, and changed their life. I am so glad that they found the Foundation that will hold them up. It is so easy to build our homes on sand, to crash (don't I crash every day?) and let the storms overtake us. But there is a way that is less overwhelming. We don't have to do it ourselves. And that is the big lie in this world - that God doesn't care, and so it's all up to us.

So back to the 2 kids thing. With 2 kids, I've quite quickly discovered (as they are still quite young), I can't do it. I'm a perfectionist. I've already failed my kids a thousand times (um, my husband of 7 years can probably pipe in here that I was failing long before kids). And can I tell you, it is such a relief to let it all go? To let my burden of raising kids "right" (whatever that is) and trust God that He will compensate for my weakness. "But [God] said to me, ' My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

This doesn't mean I slack off, and don't try to discipline my kids, or give them safe boundaries, or feed them healthy food. It just means that I can live in freedom. "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Jesus, Matthew 11:30)

I don't know about you, but I keep our life pretty simple, and I still need an easy yoke and a light burden. Life is too hard trying to carry the load all by myself.

Quick Recipes

Okay, on a lighter note, at least at first - 3 of my favorite, easy, go with everything recipes. When I first got married, I was NOT a cook. My mom would have laughed at the idea of me cooking every night. I mean, she knew I could do it if I wanted to, but I was not exactly the domestic kind of gal. Tim bragged during our engagement that he was going to have to do all the cooking since I didn't know how (hey, I could make Kraft mac & cheese with the best of them!). [And by the way, it took Tim 5 years to make me his famous key lime pie; dinner? HA, still waiting...] Now, I love to cook. But I have to admit, it is very challenging with 2 kids to prep it unless you start during naptime - and who wants to cook during naptime? Nap myself, read, goof off, straighten the house.....I can come up with a lot more fun things to do, even as much as I enjoy making a great meal. Yum, I am so hungry now!

CROCKPOT CHICKEN
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 can cream of chicken soup
8 oz (1 cup) sour cream
Flavor with salt, pepper, garlic as needed
Mix together. Pour over 4-6 chicken breasts (skinless, bone in or out) in crockpot.

Cook for 6-8 hours on low.

Goes with EVERYTHING.

CRANBERRY CHICKEN
1 cup creamy French dressing
1 8oz (small) can of crushed pineapple, drained
1 can whole cranberry sauce

Mix together, pour over 8+ chicken tenderloins.
Cook at 400 for 30-45 minutes.

Goes really well with brown rice & vegetables.

POPPYSEED CHICKEN

Cook about 6 cups rice (white or brown). Layer on bottom of casserole dish or 9x13.

Mix #1:
2 cans cream of mushroom soup
8 oz (1 cup) sour cream
2 cups (2-3 chicken breasts) cut up chicken

Layer Mix #1 on top of rice.

Mix #2:
2 pkgs crushed Ritz crackers
6-8 Tbsp. melted butter
Poppyseeds as like

Layer Mix #2 on top of Mix #1

Cook at 350 for 30 minutes.