A Time to Blossom

"And the day came 

when the risk to remain 

tight in a bud was more painful 

than the risk it took to blossom."  

Anais Nin

As a mom of a kid with special needs, as a mom of four kids with food allergies, I have spent the last ten years serving, sacrificing, surviving. For the first time in ten years, I have drawn breath.  In the moment, I didn't see it.

When you are in the dark, you can't see.

When you are in the wilderness, you are lost.

When you come out of it, you are bewildered. You squint at the light, like you don't recognize it. You rub your eyes, because you cannot believe you see the water, the town, the life that you were lost from. You feel disoriented, unable to get your bearings.  This is what I have felt like over the last couple of months.  Like a newborn baby, opening it's eyes for the first time.  Like Lazarus, I feel like the dead coming back to life.

I can feel Jesus bringing me back to life.

His Spirit.

His vision.

His calling.

"There is an appointed time for everything.  

And there is a time for every event under heaven -

A time to give birth, and a time to die; 

A time to plant, and a time to uproot what is planted.

A time to kill, and a time to heal; 

A time to tear down, and a time to build up.

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; 

A time to mourn, and a time to dance."

Ecclesiastes 3:1-4

In allowing me to breathe, by pouring rain into our life, God has shown me it is a time to heal, to build up, to laugh, to dance...He has seasons for all of us.  I have been praying for God's rain for two years, and seen glimpses of it, only for Him to show me there was still tearing down and weeping and mourning to do.  I don't know all of His purposes in it yet, but I can feel His Spirit building me up, that I may share and build up others.  I know He will not waste the darkness, the wilderness, the tears.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.  For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ." 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

The suffering we go through, at some point, is meant to be a comfort and encouragement to others.

Sometimes it takes the form of a listening ear, a hug, an "I understand, I've been there too." 

Sometimes God gives us the grace to share with others while we are suffering.

Sometimes God gives us the strength to share after He has renewed us....and maybe revived us?

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:28, NIV

The NASB version says, "that it may give grace to those who hear."

I don't know what the Lord has in store for me next.

I don't know what the Lord has in store for you.

But I pray that it may be for the building up of others.

I don't want to "remain tight in a bud."  I don't want to stay in the wilderness.  

I pray that it is a time for our family, and yours, to blossom into who God wants us to be.

How to be an Everyday Blessing to Others

We are a bunch of selfish creatures.  At least, we are, speaking for my family.  So as many homeschooling moms do, I found a new mission.

The kids and I are going to start a mission of encouraging others.  Thinking of others.

We have started this in small ways over the last few years, but this year, they are older, and I decided to step it up.  Around Christmas, we started to make notes for people who may not have a lot of people think of them.  We made a couple of fun presents for those that may give, but not receive much. We continued that for Valentine's, then Easter.  There are so many ways I want to expand this, and soon.

People just want to know others are thinking of them.

Then I started thinking of how we could encourage those who came to our house.  A friend of mine had a prayer box at her house, and I thought that could be something we could do.

I think our kids and the neighbor kids have contributed the most to it, but my hope and prayer for putting it in the guest bathroom, is that it is private enough, visitors may increasingly contribute to our prayer box.  And if not, it reminds our kids that there are others in need to keep praying for...and encourages them to have their own list of people to pray for.  (Credit to Target for cute boxes already painted for the non-crafty, and to Amazon Prime for cute labels.)

But then, I keep thinking, how can we be more thankful?  How can I teach thankfulness more than just modeling it?

It finally hit me a few days ago.  A Thankfulness Journal.

It is going to sit on my kitchen table, where anyone can add what they are thankful for.  It can be vague or specific.  It will sit in a place where visitors can sign it and mutually encourage our family to be thankful.  (More credit to Target for cheap decorating options.  And yes, I know Easter was almost 3 weeks ago.)  Maybe as they read it, we can encourage them. That life is more than keeping-up-with-the-Jones' or the Kardashians' or whomever the new kid on the block is...

This could be a complete bomb of an experiment, but if it gets our kids thinking about what they are thankful for, I will consider it a success.  If it can encourage others, even better.

How does your family reach out to others in the every day?  Please share!

When Your Marriage Needs Life

Marriage is hard.  It seems like the longer you're married, the harder it becomes.  The harder life gets as you get older, sometimes the more marriage is about surviving.  Some couples are strong.  They start strong and they stay strong, and God is gracious to them.  Some couples struggle.  Some couples start with struggles, and the struggles only get more difficult.  Or maybe they start strong, but life interrupts and they never really recover.

Every marriage is different.  Mine has always been the one that struggles.  We are two stubborn, sinful people who have struggled overcoming our stubbornness and sinfulness.

But God has still been gracious to us.  He has used our marriage to sanctify us, refine us, and make something beautiful.  But it has been 15 years in the making, and I am sure that it will only continue.

There are 3 things I have learned that have breathed new life in our marriage:

1) Marriage needs fun moments.  When life gets hard, marriage needs laughter.  Not the sarcastic, talking-down-to-your-spouse kind.  The goofy-dancing-with-the-kids kind.  Or, as in the picture below, catch a lunch-date while waiting on your son's scan (reality check).  You can't survive the bad without having enough good moments to counter-balance the bad.

2) Marriage needs date nights. Even if they are stay home, after-the-kids-are-in-bed, date nights.  Order take out.  Pick up a pint of his ice cream and her ice cream. Watch Netflix. Organize a child care rotation with neighbors or members from your church and go to a painting class on a Groupon purchase (which also creates that laughter and fun moments if you are not an artist, like me!). 

3) Find a hobby that just you and your spouse do together.  Do something new.  Have your own book club.  Try photography or woodworking or painting.  Color the adult coloring books together.  Make your own graphic novels together.  The possibilities are endless.  Try a few different things until you find something that works.  

Life is stressful enough.  Put some joy into it.  You may struggle liking your spouse right now.  The idea of spending more time together feels like more stress, not less.  I completely understand.  Find something that does not involve whatever the stress is about.  Escape the stress together, and you both may find healing in the escape.