"There is a strong stillness deep within me, the place where God lives. He is not pulled in ten thousand directions and in Him, neither am I," says Emily Freeman on Ann Voskamp's website "A Holy Experience."
"In Him, neither am I." I think that is so true. So often, with kids with special needs, with a path chosen that is different from so many others, and the path is lonely. I get weary and burdened and isolated based on the needs of my kids. Yet I feel no compulsion to change our course. No drive to jump on the train everyone else is on. It is very clear to me what path God has chosen for us. I cannot change the needs of my children. I cannot change that homeschooling is the best fit for us right now, the right calling for us right now. We have doctor appointments and therapy, medicines that sometimes take us half the morning to drink, body reactions that need to be monitored, fatigue and naps that need to be accommodated, allergy-free food that needs to be prepared. I cannot change any of it. And so, with certainty, we follow this path. This very narrow path that is different from many others. It is focused. It is unknown. It is wearisome. It is lonely. It is difficult. But there is a peace that comes with acceptance of this path. We embrace the good days. We rejoice on the days we get to spend with friends. We rest in thankfulness on the days where there is health and smiles and play. Those are the moments we treasure, and they are all the more meaningful in-between the days that are hard. But even on the difficult days, we know, this is our path, God is our comfort and Savior, and we dig deep to remember the reward of the good days. The blessing of the good moments.
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
5 Special Needs Homeschooling Helps
I just finished writing an email to someone asking for advice on how to homeschool their kid who has autism. At first, it was a lengthy rambling of history. After the computer accidently deleted half, I got more focused, and realized I had a blog post by the end! So here are my personal helps on homeschooling a kid with special needs. Every kid and their struggles are different, so keep that in mind here.
Make a list of rules. Maybe give him a reward (a sticker, a skittle, iPad time after schoolwork is done, whatever ways of working to a reward works for him) for each day he goes by them.
Keep your goals low early on - for him & for you. For example, we started our year with Bible, math & handwriting (Bible is just important us and his handwriting is atrocious - we had to start back at preschool in Handwriting without Tears). Math he is great at (although it is getting difficult now), and handwriting was his weakness. We did one of each so he would remain motivated. That's all we did until I realized he was ready for more. Then we added science. Then we added history the next week. Reading we did thru Bible, history & science, but I have recently increased it with outside literature. For now, I'm reading to him, based on advice from other older, wiser homeschoolers who say some kids, esp boys, take longer with the reading and it clicks between ages 10-12, and that he is developmentally delayed. We still get books from the library that he chooses that he does read on his own, but they are things like Ninjago. :) Not very educational, but it's something. If he's behind on several subjects, start small. Start with things he likes. Build on it. I still don't feel like I'm covering enough with my kids, but I don't know if homeschool moms ever do. I don't do spelling or grammar, he doesn't write stories or poems yet, there are so many things we don't do yet. And yet, I want what he does know, he knows well. He does have memory issues and decoding issues from auditory processing disorder. Then we'll build on that. And he can't do 7 hours a day. He just can't. He can barely do 2 hours in a row. The reward, I think, if you can stick with it, is that YOU get to see them learn before your very eyes. You get to see that what you are putting in WILL come out. And you will be right there with them when that happens. Learn that you set the pace, and you know the pace he can go at. The beauty of homeschooling is there is no gage to go by. Eventually our kids will know the same things their peers will...perhaps they will know even more. But they will do it on a different path than their peers. And maybe be less stressed out and enjoy it more in the long run.
Keep your goals low early on - for him & for you. For example, we started our year with Bible, math & handwriting (Bible is just important us and his handwriting is atrocious - we had to start back at preschool in Handwriting without Tears). Math he is great at (although it is getting difficult now), and handwriting was his weakness. We did one of each so he would remain motivated. That's all we did until I realized he was ready for more. Then we added science. Then we added history the next week. Reading we did thru Bible, history & science, but I have recently increased it with outside literature. For now, I'm reading to him, based on advice from other older, wiser homeschoolers who say some kids, esp boys, take longer with the reading and it clicks between ages 10-12, and that he is developmentally delayed. We still get books from the library that he chooses that he does read on his own, but they are things like Ninjago. :) Not very educational, but it's something. If he's behind on several subjects, start small. Start with things he likes. Build on it. I still don't feel like I'm covering enough with my kids, but I don't know if homeschool moms ever do. I don't do spelling or grammar, he doesn't write stories or poems yet, there are so many things we don't do yet. And yet, I want what he does know, he knows well. He does have memory issues and decoding issues from auditory processing disorder. Then we'll build on that. And he can't do 7 hours a day. He just can't. He can barely do 2 hours in a row. The reward, I think, if you can stick with it, is that YOU get to see them learn before your very eyes. You get to see that what you are putting in WILL come out. And you will be right there with them when that happens. Learn that you set the pace, and you know the pace he can go at. The beauty of homeschooling is there is no gage to go by. Eventually our kids will know the same things their peers will...perhaps they will know even more. But they will do it on a different path than their peers. And maybe be less stressed out and enjoy it more in the long run.
Be flexible. When we first started, I showed LJ what we had to accomplish. I said, these are the non-negotiables about the schedule (Bible always comes first - I am doing a theme on putting others first/humility to focus on character), but everything else you can change the order of. We can change where you sit while you do it. The only other thing that is non-negotiable is that you do the work I ask you to do. And I at least communicated, we have a structure, but if it doesn't work for you, you have choices. Of course, sometimes he tries to manipulate that, and then he starts getting fewer choices. Or like the other day, he kept resisting me on his math worksheet, so I finally started putting one math problem on the dry erase board at a time, so he wasn't visually looking at the whole page. After we got thru the tough stuff, he did the rest of the worksheet by himself. For awhile we did math & handwriting on the days Mon/Wed when he had speech & I had allergy shots, then Tues/Thurs were science or history days (1 day for each so we could take time doing the activities with them) and Friday/Sat our field days or catch up days (his dad sometimes works on Sat, so sometimes I did my errand running on Friday & make up on Sat).
Take breaks (use a timer, or do before lunch, then after lunch), do sensory stuff (I keep theraputty, play-doh, mini trampoline, noise putty, etc handy) and have snacks at hand.
Get creative. Ok, this one is a very difficult one for me. Teaching has never been my gift. Creativity is like my long lost relative...I'm supposed to be related, but I can't remember the last time I saw them. But I'm slowly learning to go with my gut. I saw these Story Cubes at Target. They were like $7. While Lucas is not at a point to write a story...or maybe I'm not ready to dig in to the process that would require teaching him because last year at school he writes a bullet point story that is more like a list of facts....these story cubes you toss & tell a story based on the pictures that land face up. Someday, I may write the story as he tells it on the easel and work our way towards storytelling & writing. But I do things SLOW. I have 4 kids 8 & under...nothing around here gets accomplished quickly! :) And for now, it's a great way to break up the other school work while still counting it as school work! One of my friends posted that she got this new game Bird Bingo. Well, we are doing a science curriculum where we are only studying birds. I totally bought it on amazon for $7 I think, and it counted, with the math bingo game that I think my mom picked up in the Target $1 section, as school for today. I had appointments today, and very little time to school, but I know they actually were learning something today. This part might be the hardest part, but after you get in a routine, it will get easier to be creative. Or start creative and fun, and work towards the routine. Use the new creative stuff to motivate getting thru the hard stuff. One day, we were doing ancient Egyptian history, and I looked up apps and found one on pyramids. Downloaded it, and made it fun for them.
I love, love, love how flexible homeschooling is. Make it something that works for him & you. And finding what works just takes time. It's ok if he's "not learning" at the same rate as his peers while you find your way. In the long run, he will probably learn things better, in that he will understand the information better and more thoroughly. We recently just missed a month of school because of Christmas/New Year's/moving/visiting family from out of town. I feel very behind, but have to remind myself it's a marathon, not a sprint. They don't have to have diplomas at 17. It can be 19. But regardless, that sense of accomplishment will really be something, won't it?? I was thinking about it the other day, and IF he gets there (we have such a long way to go!), I will surely be an emotional mess of a mother, so proud, and so emotional of all the obstacles he will have overcome.
Take breaks (use a timer, or do before lunch, then after lunch), do sensory stuff (I keep theraputty, play-doh, mini trampoline, noise putty, etc handy) and have snacks at hand.
Get creative. Ok, this one is a very difficult one for me. Teaching has never been my gift. Creativity is like my long lost relative...I'm supposed to be related, but I can't remember the last time I saw them. But I'm slowly learning to go with my gut. I saw these Story Cubes at Target. They were like $7. While Lucas is not at a point to write a story...or maybe I'm not ready to dig in to the process that would require teaching him because last year at school he writes a bullet point story that is more like a list of facts....these story cubes you toss & tell a story based on the pictures that land face up. Someday, I may write the story as he tells it on the easel and work our way towards storytelling & writing. But I do things SLOW. I have 4 kids 8 & under...nothing around here gets accomplished quickly! :) And for now, it's a great way to break up the other school work while still counting it as school work! One of my friends posted that she got this new game Bird Bingo. Well, we are doing a science curriculum where we are only studying birds. I totally bought it on amazon for $7 I think, and it counted, with the math bingo game that I think my mom picked up in the Target $1 section, as school for today. I had appointments today, and very little time to school, but I know they actually were learning something today. This part might be the hardest part, but after you get in a routine, it will get easier to be creative. Or start creative and fun, and work towards the routine. Use the new creative stuff to motivate getting thru the hard stuff. One day, we were doing ancient Egyptian history, and I looked up apps and found one on pyramids. Downloaded it, and made it fun for them.
I love, love, love how flexible homeschooling is. Make it something that works for him & you. And finding what works just takes time. It's ok if he's "not learning" at the same rate as his peers while you find your way. In the long run, he will probably learn things better, in that he will understand the information better and more thoroughly. We recently just missed a month of school because of Christmas/New Year's/moving/visiting family from out of town. I feel very behind, but have to remind myself it's a marathon, not a sprint. They don't have to have diplomas at 17. It can be 19. But regardless, that sense of accomplishment will really be something, won't it?? I was thinking about it the other day, and IF he gets there (we have such a long way to go!), I will surely be an emotional mess of a mother, so proud, and so emotional of all the obstacles he will have overcome.
Friday, January 31, 2014
2014...A Year of Change
2014 started off with a bang. Usually the changing of the guards, the shifting of time, passes quietly for us even if the year is full of storms. This year, the winds of change began 2 days after Christmas when we got a contract on our house and will continue throughout this year. Our move is just one of several big things God brought into our life in 2014.
There are a few things the last few (dizzying) weeks have brought me.
God's timing is perfect. 5 days after we sold our house, we found out some difficult news about someone dear to us.
Waiting on God leads to His perfect timing. The timing of our transition enables us to be there for them in a way staying in our old routine did not. We could not have done this had we not sold our house, nor if we had sold it too soon.
God prepares us even while we are unaware. Our recent months of studying eucharisteo, thanksgiving and giving to others has prepared us for ministry to others. Our own family's change of moving has become insignificant in light of the burdens of others. We have several people in our lives who are suffering. My prayer is that our family may be used in their lives to encourage, lift up, and serve.
There are a few things the last few (dizzying) weeks have brought me.
God's timing is perfect. 5 days after we sold our house, we found out some difficult news about someone dear to us.
Waiting on God leads to His perfect timing. The timing of our transition enables us to be there for them in a way staying in our old routine did not. We could not have done this had we not sold our house, nor if we had sold it too soon.
God prepares us even while we are unaware. Our recent months of studying eucharisteo, thanksgiving and giving to others has prepared us for ministry to others. Our own family's change of moving has become insignificant in light of the burdens of others. We have several people in our lives who are suffering. My prayer is that our family may be used in their lives to encourage, lift up, and serve.
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