Every marriage is different. Mine has always been the one that struggles. We are two stubborn, sinful people who have struggled overcoming our stubbornness and sinfulness.
But God has still been gracious to us. He has used our marriage to sanctify us, refine us, and make something beautiful. But it has been 15 years in the making, and I am sure that it will only continue.
There are 3 things I have learned that have breathed new life in our marriage:
1) Marriage needs fun moments. When life gets hard, marriage needs laughter. Not the sarcastic, talking-down-to-your-spouse kind. The goofy-dancing-with-the-kids kind. Or, as in the picture below, catch a lunch-date while waiting on your son's scan (reality check). You can't survive the bad without having enough good moments to counter-balance the bad.
2) Marriage needs date nights. Even if they are stay home, after-the-kids-are-in-bed, date nights. Order take out. Pick up a pint of his ice cream and her ice cream. Watch Netflix. Organize a child care rotation with neighbors or members from your church and go to a painting class on a Groupon purchase (which also creates that laughter and fun moments if you are not an artist, like me!).
3) Find a hobby that just you and your spouse do together. Do something new. Have your own book club. Try photography or woodworking or painting. Color the adult coloring books together. Make your own graphic novels together. The possibilities are endless. Try a few different things until you find something that works.
Life is stressful enough. Put some joy into it. You may struggle liking your spouse right now. The idea of spending more time together feels like more stress, not less. I completely understand. Find something that does not involve whatever the stress is about. Escape the stress together, and you both may find healing in the escape.
