Unspeakable Joy

LJ is doing hand motions with songs! Well, mostly the fish song. Let me back up a little.

We have been going to a Gymboree Music class for about a month now. It has great little songs with hand motions (much like the itsy bitsy spider), they introduce different instruments for them to play, they have a theme each week that they continue for about 3 weeks (which has been surfing), and do all kinds of things that go with it. So LJ learned how to surf on different play toys they have, which was great for stretching his sensory integration. Actually, all of it is very well thought through, and perfect for his sensory processing. They keep it calm & structured, and sing similar songs from week to week, but change up the instrument they introduce, or throw in a new song, or change the play toy used for the surfing to a different one. They also let the kids start slow and learn the song, then increase the tempo each time, or add something to it. I have to admit, a year or 2 ago, when LJ was little, I was very skeptical about this kind of thing. I mean, pay money for a class to play? And really, is it anything I can't teach him at home? Well, perhaps if I was a music teacher, I would be great at teaching it at home, but otherwise....no. Is it worth the money? Absolutely - especially for my SPD kid.

So over the course of the last 3 weeks, we have learned what I call the fish song.
1,2,3,4,5 (count on fingers)
I caught a fish alive
6,7,8,9,10 (count on fingers)
I threw him back again
Why did you let him go?
Because he bit my toe.
Which toe did he bite?
The little one on the right. (tickle them)

With each number you count, you hold up the corresponding finger. Well, LJ does not participate in these kinds of games - ever. I have tried to get him to show me how old he is, and he would not do it. He watches, but he will not try it. So I have been holding his hands & fingers, and "showing" him how to go through the hand & finger motions. This past Friday, I tried to let him try it on his own, while keeping my own hands close. He attempted it, but definitely was still unsure. Later that day, I miraculously remembered the song (thank you, Jesus), and cheerfully started singing it to him. He was facing me, and he started opening his hands. And he did it! He mirrored all of my motions.

Now, for parents who do not have to do anything but once for their kids to catch on and mimic, this still seems so silly and ridiculous. But for those of us who struggle with getting our kids to engage and play and sing and do all the things normal 2 and 3 year olds do, we rejoice at every little thing they learn. Because we remember when they didn't do it. And we remember the fear of "if they never." And we worry about what school will be like, how they will struggle, will they survive? It's not that they couldn't; mentally, I have always believed LJ understood cognitively what he was supposed to do. But something is interfering with their normal development.

So all weekend I was playing with my son, and singing the fish song, till I have sung it in my sleep. Of course, Saturday I realized the whole tune is to the scale of C (I knew it sounded familiar after my 7 years of piano lessons). So we were at my parents' house, and played the piano while we sang the song with LJ. He loved it! And you can see the joy and relief on his face that he can do it.

Now, I am not a teacher, but I have to teach LJ many things. Teaching is not my talent, nor spiritual gift. God is stretching me with this. (And I thought I wanted to homeschool? I'm just now realizing how crazy I was to think I could do it - and yet I still might.) But when I see the fruit - the reaping of what we sow as Jesus taught - I rejoice. And I am learning that true joy comes from Christ when you are exactly where He wants you to be, and following His call regardless of the sacrifices.

I cannot tell you the joy of seeing your child overcome his struggles. I am bearing much fruit lately of the last year's investment in LJ, and my heart is full and grateful to God's faithfulness. I cannot imagine anything else in my life being as worthwhile right now than being a mother to these special children.

Weaknesses

One of my big pride issues is being ditzy. I hate it when I am ditzy. I feel very unintelligent when I say something I feel is stupid. I do not have that beautiful gift of being able to laugh at myself very well. But I have to say, being pregnant and having children helps cure you of that. Today is one of those days. One of those days you send out 3 emails to invite people to a party that you are obviously not helping plan very well. One of those days where a fly dies in your ice cream bowl. One of those days you are just not paying attention to anything you are doing, yet you feel like you woke up today with all of your brain cells working. On a day I would have beaten myself up for my stupidity in prior years, I am finally learning it's okay. It's okay to play a telephone pictionary game and write down "No Mor Chicken" for the Chick-Fil-A slogan instead of "Eat Mor Chicken". It's funny. It's ridiculous. People get confused when things I say or do don't make any sense. But it's LIFE, and God designed us to be able to laugh at those things. I'm so thankful (sigh). I sure need to know my brain cells don't have to work all the time. :)

Forgiving

So in answer to my prior blog, I was reading last week and read either in the Bible or another book (though it is I think in the book of John of the Bible), "Forgive as the Lord forgave you." And the Holy Spirit convicted me. It's funny how you can read the same things a million times, friends can tell you that you need to forgive, but when God convicts you through the Holy Spirit, you just have to listen whether you feel like it or not. God has forgiven me so much more than the little things people have done to hurt me. He has forgiven me everything. He asks us to forgive "seventy times seven" and to "turn the other cheek". My life was "bought with a price", that price being the life of Jesus Christ, a price I can never repay. His life was perfect and it paid for all of my sin. It is a very humbling Truth. And it reminds me that my life is worth nothing without Him in it. What I have to forgive is like one grain of sand in comparison to the vast sea that He has washed over my sin as white and pure as snow. It doesn't mean it's easy, but in the end, obedience and a pure heart reap blessing upon blessing. And now my heart is at peace again.