A Time to Blossom

"And the day came 

when the risk to remain 

tight in a bud was more painful 

than the risk it took to blossom."  

Anais Nin

As a mom of a kid with special needs, as a mom of four kids with food allergies, I have spent the last ten years serving, sacrificing, surviving. For the first time in ten years, I have drawn breath.  In the moment, I didn't see it.

When you are in the dark, you can't see.

When you are in the wilderness, you are lost.

When you come out of it, you are bewildered. You squint at the light, like you don't recognize it. You rub your eyes, because you cannot believe you see the water, the town, the life that you were lost from. You feel disoriented, unable to get your bearings.  This is what I have felt like over the last couple of months.  Like a newborn baby, opening it's eyes for the first time.  Like Lazarus, I feel like the dead coming back to life.

I can feel Jesus bringing me back to life.

His Spirit.

His vision.

His calling.

"There is an appointed time for everything.  

And there is a time for every event under heaven -

A time to give birth, and a time to die; 

A time to plant, and a time to uproot what is planted.

A time to kill, and a time to heal; 

A time to tear down, and a time to build up.

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; 

A time to mourn, and a time to dance."

Ecclesiastes 3:1-4

In allowing me to breathe, by pouring rain into our life, God has shown me it is a time to heal, to build up, to laugh, to dance...He has seasons for all of us.  I have been praying for God's rain for two years, and seen glimpses of it, only for Him to show me there was still tearing down and weeping and mourning to do.  I don't know all of His purposes in it yet, but I can feel His Spirit building me up, that I may share and build up others.  I know He will not waste the darkness, the wilderness, the tears.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.  For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ." 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

The suffering we go through, at some point, is meant to be a comfort and encouragement to others.

Sometimes it takes the form of a listening ear, a hug, an "I understand, I've been there too." 

Sometimes God gives us the grace to share with others while we are suffering.

Sometimes God gives us the strength to share after He has renewed us....and maybe revived us?

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:28, NIV

The NASB version says, "that it may give grace to those who hear."

I don't know what the Lord has in store for me next.

I don't know what the Lord has in store for you.

But I pray that it may be for the building up of others.

I don't want to "remain tight in a bud."  I don't want to stay in the wilderness.  

I pray that it is a time for our family, and yours, to blossom into who God wants us to be.