No Regrets

I am getting bored. Many friends are sick or are recovering and cannot come over for play groups. I cannot pick JD up for 3 more weeks, therefore I cannot get him in my car (he sits down if you try to walk him where you want him to go) and go anywhere. And even if I could, I would either have no room in the grocery cart for all 3 kids and groceries, or be able to get JD in the cart, or be able to carry EK in a sling while pushing a cart (with C-sections you can't lift or carry or push anything greater than 10 lbs or your child for 6 weeks, mine of which is probably greater than 10 lbs now; I honor this to enable me the likelihood of being able to bear more children). LJ is getting bored. He has never been more mean to his brother or more selfish and disrespectful, and he has spent the last month going in time outs. JD is getting bored of his toys. Now, Christmas has been a wonderful diversion on one hand, providing them with all sorts of new toys. On the other hand, it has made LJ ever more selfish. I'm sure some of the selfishness and meanness are acting out of having baby at home now, adding to the taking away of Mommy, which never sits well with LJ. But I am thankful. I wouldn't trade any of my children for anything, and I adore EK, despite the disruption LJ and JD so obviously feel. JD, though, does adore her - he loves holding her (with my assistance), hugging her, patting her, touching her head, and grins the whole time he's doing it. LJ, as always, I have to create involvement with him and her.

So what was my point in my ramblings, I wonder? I think it was, I can't wait to get back to feeling myself and being able to handle JD better. Once I can handle him better, and EK sleeps a little longer at night, life can resume back to a little routine. It's amazing how much I enjoy my 20-30 minute escapes to Target by myself right now, if only to get out of my 4 walls. And I look forward to resuming play groups.

So while I wait, I have several new books to read. A friend gave me a great book that seems very Mark Twain-ish so far. It makes me laugh, the small town vignettes, as they are still similar to my childhood days in Michigan, when everyone knew everyone else's business. I got another Elisabeth Elliott book - "God's Guidance: A Soft and Certain Light" (I think the original copy was called just "A Soft and Certain Light"), and it has a study guide with it. As I read it, I think so much of our generation's struggle to know what their purpose in life is, and what God's will is, and how great of a Bible study this would make. Maybe I will bring it up at my church (again, once Emma is sleeping at night more) - I can't wait! Her wisdom is God-given, and continues to be a source of encouragement to me, as it reminds me of all of the truths I know in Scripture and believe in, and helps me regain footing on solid ground.

The third book (or really, series) is the Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer. I have to say, I really don't like vampire stories of any kind. Vampires creep me out. Spiders, snakes, superheros & villians I can handle - vampires, that is my creepy creature I avoid. Brad Pitt in "Interview with a Vampire"? I don't care how good looking he is, I couldn't handle more than 5 minutes! Ugh. So when I was at the beach with my college girlfriends this summer, one of them was reading it, especially since her job has her around a lot of teenage girls, with whom this book is hugely popular. While I was curious, all I had to know was "vampires" and I'm like, "no, thank you!" But I am finding with not having to pack up diaper bags all the time for going places, having my husband and mom help with the boys & fixing them meals (then they, being OCD as they are, cleaning up as well, so much faster than I usually do), not actually spending any time out of the house (as much to protect Emma from getting sick, as the challenge of me getting out with the kids, and the burden it is on Tim or mom to help get them all in & out of the car everywhere), I was finding myself bored with TV and needing something else to do. So I was at Target, searched their book section, and finally decided on trying out the first book "Twilight". I got home and got hooked! Being on the NY Times bestseller list, I am sometimes wary of popular books for too much language or sex; while I can appreciate good literature, I generally do not enjoy a lot of either in my book reading choices and end up reading a lot of Christian fiction (and enduring my fair share of cheesiness and cliche and poor writing many times). However, that is just an assumption I make, and it could very well be very wrong. I was pleasantly surprised that her books, though, are completely clean (so far anyway, I've only read the first 2). And they focus more on the heroine's relationships much more than the vampire stuff - it's not blood & gore like Interview with a Vampire seemed to me. Anyway, it seems funny to me that I'm reading this series, but it's a good change from what little is on in the afternoons on tv, but is probably bad for me, as I'm not taking naps as I should!

Well, time is up - time to feed EK...again. :)