Grace and Siblings!

Some of this post has been waiting in the wings. I started, stopped, started again. I know reading this blog is more like reading a diary or a devotional, but when I have time, it is cathartic for me to share my struggles and ups and downs, and what God is teaching me through life. Our culture doubts God (well, when has it not?), but it blames most of that right now on the older church that rarely revealed the true struggles of the heart. I want others to know that while there is no perfect answer, there is One who walks through all of it with you. And He gives you the answers as you need it, but sometimes He lets you struggle so that you can find Him in it. I told my husband this weekend I feel rich, like a billionaire, from the blessings of God and my family - him and the kids - and I have need of nothing else. But in that happiness, my life is not without its challenges; and maybe that's what makes me more thankful for what I do have.

This is where I started last week:

It's a good thing that God's mercies are "new every morning" and His grace knows no bounds. I feel like I talk about God's grace a lot, but I have realized how much I need it, I rely on it, and I find great peace in it.

I have found these last few weeks that God's grace is sufficient. It is enough. If we rest in it, and let all of the things go that worry us, stress us, burden us, control us, we can find peace. I have not reconciled all that I desire to reconcile, but I have found peace on the other side. I have to remember that I am in control of how I feel about things, and if I let God handle a situation, He can work it out for good - His good.

This is what I am dealing with today:


So on to happier, more mundane & frustrating things. You know, up until now, I feel like I've had a pretty good grasp (or the illusion of it) on dealing with sin issues with our children. LJ, of course, has been a special case and has tested me plenty, but maybe having some OT help for a few months gave me the illusion that we were onto better pastures. Sharing. Can someone else teach my children this lesson? It's like potty training - surely none of us like teaching this. It can't be enjoyable. And you know, LJ survives the lessons with his friends (not necessarily gracefully), but with his brother? HA. Not so much. He pushes, he hoardes, he whines, he shouts....I'm thinking God designed this week of no play groups for me to deal exactly with this issue but I cry, "please! can I pass this off on someone else??!!" :) I survived this morning with my brain in tact. I think the more difficult thing with siblings, too, is the older one gets confused. Sometimes it's okay they take things from their younger brother or sister (like when it's not safe), sometimes it's against the rules. So they get praise for some, discipline for others. I would be confused too. And I'm watching JD manipulate situations now. I see him do things to get LJ's attention, for good or bad, then laugh because he got the attention! Then I get to decide, do I discipline LJ for handling it poorly, when the poor boy was manipulated in the first place? Whew! Forget trying to do anything. I just sat and observed most of this morning. It was very educational. My hope is that maybe LJ started listening this morning, and maybe his mama is getting more consistent as I developed the attempt at a game plan this weekend. I really still believe the "terrible twos or threes" should be called the "testing twos or threes", as I see LJ continue to push my buttons to see if I really mean what I say. We'll see how sane I am by Friday. I may swap jobs with my husband for a week. :)



Looking back over my blog, maybe I need Elisabeth Elliott's words again.

"If we were given all we wanted here, our hearts would settle for this world rather than the next."



Why does it seem right when you find contentment, there is something else to find contentment about again? :)