All of Creation

Bear with me. As I am increasingly involved in my children's education, I keep wanting to share with others what I am learning, thinking, and resources as applicable - this is a post that encompasses all 3.  If the internet is where we are all getting information, then I want to be a source that points us to Jesus and points us to Truth.

Every week, I keep coming back to our culture's desperate need to think outside boxes and ideologies (as in, they need it, not that they pursue it as a general rule). As Christians', we have a responsibility to compare EVERYTHING we hear or read to Scripture. We all so quickly accept a Tweet as fact or a headline as Truth.  If it sounds good, we believe it.  [Our class also just read Nathaniel Hawthorne's "The Celestial Railroad", a sequel if you will, to "The Pilgrim's Progress."  Mr. Smooth-It-Away was the perfect caricature to the "person" our culture listens to today. The convictions of taking the easy way was profound by the end.]  We idolize people (which 2019-2020 has dealt heavy blows to on both sides) instead of first thinking  "do I agree with what they are saying?" or following their ideas to their logical conclusions. 

"Defeating Darwinism" has a lot of places I would have written it differently. I am mostly linking it to the book beside it here, but also wishing to point out that you don't have to agree with an entire book (or person or idea) to glean something from it. The parts that I have enjoyed the most about it is the logical reasoning (which is in select places) in which our class can dissect with our logical syllogisms and propositional arguments (thank you, Introductory and Intermediate Logic), and its comparison of worldviews.  "Defeating Darwinism" challenged us to think.  (Johnson has other books that give more scientific explanations, so look those up if you want more facts.)

As I have recently rearranged my books, I came across "Creation Regained", which has complemented it so well in giving an excellent definition on worldview (see 2nd and 3rd slides). It also gives a strong foundation for a Christian worldview of creation from a Biblical perspective. So for anyone in the church wondering why Christians still believe in creation, this would be a great read.  Or for any fellow homeschoolers!  ;)  I am attaching some excerpts for your encouragement.

Spring Fever

The last couple of days in North Carolina have been warm, sunny, and gorgeous!  We are having a hard time committing to finishing our daily school and chores, and the neighbors are having a blast outside!  The walkie-talkies are going strong, kids are running everywhere, birds are stretching their wings, and the crickets and frogs are back as if it is summer-time.  It feels like spring, but the weathermen promise us winter will be back by the weekend.  While my list of responsibilities is long, I have made myself go outside and soak in some Vitamin D.  It gives new life, new joy, and a new perspective.  It helps us breathe.

How often we do not realize what we need until God provides it?  We have had so much rain and so many cloudy days lately, when God provided the sun, we have raced outside to soak in its rays.  How much like life is this?  We trudge on in life, its burdens weighing us down, not realizing how much we need the Son of God, and to soak in His life, His righteousness, His grace.  So often, we forget to soak in His Word, stop and listen to His Spirit, or sit and pray for His life to be poured into us.  

Despite my best attempts, I have not been able to blog as much as I would enjoy.  Finding time to sit and breathe has been my biggest challenge.  I am looking forward to spring, homeschooling slowing down, and having a little more time to sit and soak in the sun....in the meantime, I will continue to carve out moments to write, even if it is something small, like today.  

The Daily Fulfillment of His Purpose

It is interesting how God works.  It seems as I make new words for 2019, He reveals even more clearly how He will fulfill those words. 

My prayer list is full of heartbreaking prayers for broken bodies, broken people, and broken hearts.  Some hit close to home in recent weeks, and some I just see friends suffering in life.  I am helpless to fix any of it, but I know the One who can.  As my prayer time increases, God gives me eyes to see more people to pray for.

As I struggle daily with keeping up with what needs to be done, I write:

Reminding myself, when I am disciplined - whether it is doing Bible study and prayer in the morning, doing my tasks instead of putting them off and getting increasingly overwhelmed, discipline in eating gives margin for those cheat days - I create margin for all the many things I want to have time for. 

One of the things I really enjoy, as God brings the friendships and the time, is discipling other women.  It can also be called mentoring, but it is intentionally investing in a few select people, encouraging them, sharing God-given wisdom or experience as opportunity presents itself, and just loving on them.  My first job is to disciple my children.  I did pray about being able to come alongside a couple of women this year, though.  I love how if you listen to the Spirit, you can hear him nudge you and say, "this book would encourage her," or "you need to text her today to see if she needs a friend." 

So as I started today, realizing these words for 2019 are quickly becoming God's purpose for me this year, I am thankful.  My blog posts may not be as eloquent as when I have a day to sit on the porch, breathe the fresh air, and clear my mind of all the to do's for a couple of hours, but those days will come in a few months as school comes to a close, or on a weekend I might be able to get away.  For now, I am going to post as I have time and thoughts to share.  I see this culture discouraging so many around me and I want to provide a voice that helps change and encourage others. 

2019 Focus

I am the kind of girl who loves fall.  The start of the school year.  I love new pencils and pens and notebooks.  Browsing the office section to see how I can improve my (increasingly disappearing) desk space.  So really, a new year is just an excuse to re-organize, buy new organizational things, and have a fall 2.0.  However, I also use it to re-focus.  I love to sit down, clear my head, and remind myself of what I want to prioritize in my life to re-center or re-focus myself.  I want to be able to be my best self for my family and make sure I am putting first what God would want me to each day. Here are my new words for 2019 and why!

God's Word.  This is pretty self-explanatory.  When life gets chaotic - as it tends to be more often than not - sometimes you just need a physical reminder to do the thing.  This is my reminder to keep pursuing time in God's Word.  It is also amazing how often something you read in the Bible has some specific encouragement for you in that moment.

Pray.  Our pastor is doing a series on prayer called "Insurgency" to start the new year.  There are so, so, so many people and things I need to be praying for.  This is definitely a weak area of my life as well.  I am more stream-of-consciousness through my day, but I desire to be more intentional in my prayer life. I have too many important people and ministries in my life that deserve my faithfulness in this spiritual discipline.

Blog.  When I last blogged, it forced me to take a time out for myself.  I spent hours on my screened porch, while last summer, I spent few.  I share out of my overflow.  When I am overworked, exhausted, and spread thin, I have nothing to give my blog.  In some ways, this focus word is just a reminder to take time out for myself.  In other ways, I realize the journey God has brought me through in life, and especially the last 13 years, is now ready to share, to mentor, to disciple others with. It gives the season of suffering purpose.  I hope it encourages others that though they may not see it now, God is working.  I hope it glorifies what He has done over the course of these past years because I still am in awe daily of the changes He has reaped in our family.  (It doesn't mean life is perfect, just that it has bore fruit!)

Disciple.  I have 4 kids that need me.  They trust me to guide them, and it is my job to show them Christ and how to be like Him.  How to know Him.  This is my reminder that this is my first job as their mother and teacher.

Discipline.  I know what to do.  I need to develop the discipline to do it.  To get up earlier to have a quiet time and prayer time.  I have done the hard work of developing the consistency of exercise.  Changing diet (that is, eating healthier in a way that works for my body, not diet in terms of extreme restrictions).  Adding supplements that give my body the nutrition it may not be able to give enough of itself (iron, CoQ10, etc).  Now I need to commit to the program I want to be on.  I have allowed the choas to control my time for months. When I put Christ first and exercise regularly (energy producer, stress reducer = mental health), I feel better in pretty much every way.  Life can fall apart, but my spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical health stay steady.

For me, these are the areas I want to grow in, mature in, keep in the forefront of what I do and think about each day.  Part of being intentional in raising kids is being intentional with yourself and making sure YOU know where you are heading.  If you don't know, pray about it.  Spend a week, 2 weeks, a month, praying about where God wants you and what He wants you to prioritize.

Maybe you feel lost as to what word(s) you would choose...what do you value, but it (or they) get lost in this crazy thing we call life?  What do you feel is missing in your life - peace? courage to do the hard thing?  love?  I ask myself these questions, I listen to the Holy Spirit, and I put them in a place I often visit.

May 2019, like all the others, be a year of growth.  Happy New Year!

Reflections

2018 Reflections

Do you ever find yourself thinking, "this isn't working?"  Do you evaluate where your time and energy are going?  Do you ever wonder why there is never enough of either?  So many times we post a meme of a wise quote, but don't actually take that advice to heart.  So many days, we just feel like we are drowning and we are at a loss at what to do about it.  Part of understanding ourselves is stopping every so often and evaluating what is working, what isn't, what is important to us, and what we need to change so that we can give our best selves to those we love around us. It is being intentional.

Life just keeps moving at a faster pace for me.  I need things in my life to help me keep up - Google Calendar, Google Keep, and lots of notes and checklists.  Pretty much every week comes a point where I think, "Why does life seem out of control?"  (Note that this is despite having a color-coded calendar and lots of notes as my memory bank.)  Usually I find it has to do with getting unfocused myself, saying "yes" to things I should have said "no" to, and not sticking to the people and things I value...hence my focus words.  

For the last 3 years, I have picked words to help me remember what I need to focus on.  I wanted to make sure I knew where I needed to spend my time and energy.  It came after a season of suffering, so my first words were things like healing and wait.  I needed words that reminded me that God would bring me comfort in His time. Then came thrive and breathe and balance.  Life started moving faster and I needed reminders to stop in between the chaos.  2018 began with healthy and be present and give.  I don't have any specific ways to measure them.  They just help bring me back to center when life gets off-track.  So pretty much every day.  

Healthy.  In raising 4 kids, being healthy physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually is really important to me.  I cannot lead them in being healthy if I am not healthy myself.  My greatest prayer for my kids is that they love Jesus, and have health in all areas.  It was a gift my parents gave me, and I hope to pass on the legacy to my own.  I learned healthy boundaries, respect, and emotions early in life, which has made processing unhealthy events later in life easier.  This year, I measured it by trying to eat healthy, drink more water, make sure I stayed caught up on sleep (easier said than done!), and exercise regularly.  It also meant I needed to make healthy emotional, mental, and spiritual choices.  I know I failed in all of these areas at times, but there was never full regression.  I didn't gain 75 pounds or end up in a pit of depression when discouragement chased me.  I took 5 HTP (a supplement that boosts your serotonin) when the busyness of life took over and the stress started affecting my mental health (feeling overwhelmed to the point of helplessness).  Life gets crazy.  The saying "you can't pour from an empty cup" is really true.  Ultimately, our cup needs to be filled by Christ.  So we start with Him, and go from there.  He also gives us the strength to seek emotional help when we need it, the courage to start exercising so our mental and physical health improves, the commitment to get up earlier to spend time with Him, or the wisdom to pursue other ways we need to be healthy.

Be Present.  This one is so difficult in the city (or close to one) where everyone is busy and our current culture of technology!  I tend to be a task-master - with homeschooling 4 kids, the basic house and meals responsibilities, and having 3 part-time jobs, there is always something for me to do!  I really wanted to work on making sure I stopped and smelled the roses - or rather, my kids.  There were times this year I did this well (especially over the holidays) and times I continued to struggle.  Often, the exhaustion took over instead, but hopefully I grew in this and we definitely started some new holiday traditions.  It is an area I will continue to work on.

Give.  This focus word stretches me.  In being raised by 2 depression-era-raised parents, I have a lot of internal voices like, "what if you need it later?" and "you don't have the money right now." I also have many internal voices reminding me of my very-long-never-ending to do list. However, I say I  desire to teach my kids how to give generously.  How can I do that if I don't take the time to?  How do you teach your kids to give generously when you tithe online?  Last summer, we joined a local church during their Love Week, playing Bingo and doing crafts at an Adult Day Care.  Joining a local ministry to the homeless once a month, we helped pack hygiene kits and took them to the homeless wall downtown.  We handed sandwiches to single moms at the women's shelter. In December, we gathered a few of our coats and blankets and gave them to the homeless as we walked the streets on one of the coldest days.  If we are to be the hands and feet of Jesus, how do our children learn this if we don't give our time and resources to those who need it most?  Remember, this is difficult for me, too.  This is why it was a focus word.  But now the second Saturday morning of every month, we have developed an affection for those we serve.  

I don't know what your word or words need to be.  I think the beautiful thing about words is they don't have to be a goal you measure and risk failing at (especially if you are easily discouraged!).  There is no right way to focus on them and no way to get behind.  I think the important thing is that we all try to grow - whether in areas we struggle, stretch ourselves to new levels in areas that are easier, or focus on ways we can be a healthier version of us - whatever that looks like for you.  Maybe it is just something you have been wanting to do and giving it a word helps you get started thinking about it more.  In 2019, I will share my new focus words!

2018 ~ You were a good year.  Full of fun memories and laughter, new friends, and answers to prayer.

An Update

It has been 2 years.  Two years since my last post.  In re-reading my last post, it was very much the beginning of a time to blossom.  LJ is healthier than he has ever been.  He started playing Fortnite just before his 13th birthday and now is a very proficient...Fortnite dancer.  My son, who ran to his room and shut the door during his 3rd or 4th birthday (or both?), is now dancing with his friends in the hallway...or with Teens at church.  Sometimes I wonder if there was an alien invasion, but then we have the occasional reminder that I still have the same son.  But now he is fun and funny.  

I am still baffled that I can say these things.

The kids all have a social schedule that is far busier than mine.  We have families in the neighborhood who homeschool, and now not only do we have the 4 boys 2 doors down, but we have 3 girls across the street, much to my girls' delight!  Another family who joined our homeschool co-op this year moves in later this year and their kids are in my boys' classes.  They have also made new friends through various outlets.  The blessings in these friendships has not gone unnoticed after having a long season of isolation.  The younger kids struggled when we couldn't go places or had to leave early because of LJ's behavior or seizures.  Sometimes, I just did not have the energy to power through it all. I feel like people give me odd looks now when I laugh about LJ's talking back (usually he is just making a smart-aleck remark) or when I bend over backwards to make sure they get time with their friends or when I am amazed at LJ doing his schoolwork with excellence (yet lots of complaining).  I often think, "if only they had seen the dark days."  My heart is full from doing all the "normal" things I wasn't sure we would ever be able to do.    

The joy I see on my son's face - on all of my children's faces - 

is something I knew I wasn't promised on this side of heaven 

and I wasn't sure we would see.  

The gift that it is overflows my heart. It may not last.  

So for today, I hold it in my heart and choose thanksgiving.

Eucharisteo.

A Time to Blossom

"And the day came 

when the risk to remain 

tight in a bud was more painful 

than the risk it took to blossom."  

Anais Nin

As a mom of a kid with special needs, as a mom of four kids with food allergies, I have spent the last ten years serving, sacrificing, surviving. For the first time in ten years, I have drawn breath.  In the moment, I didn't see it.

When you are in the dark, you can't see.

When you are in the wilderness, you are lost.

When you come out of it, you are bewildered. You squint at the light, like you don't recognize it. You rub your eyes, because you cannot believe you see the water, the town, the life that you were lost from. You feel disoriented, unable to get your bearings.  This is what I have felt like over the last couple of months.  Like a newborn baby, opening it's eyes for the first time.  Like Lazarus, I feel like the dead coming back to life.

I can feel Jesus bringing me back to life.

His Spirit.

His vision.

His calling.

"There is an appointed time for everything.  

And there is a time for every event under heaven -

A time to give birth, and a time to die; 

A time to plant, and a time to uproot what is planted.

A time to kill, and a time to heal; 

A time to tear down, and a time to build up.

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; 

A time to mourn, and a time to dance."

Ecclesiastes 3:1-4

In allowing me to breathe, by pouring rain into our life, God has shown me it is a time to heal, to build up, to laugh, to dance...He has seasons for all of us.  I have been praying for God's rain for two years, and seen glimpses of it, only for Him to show me there was still tearing down and weeping and mourning to do.  I don't know all of His purposes in it yet, but I can feel His Spirit building me up, that I may share and build up others.  I know He will not waste the darkness, the wilderness, the tears.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.  For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ." 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

The suffering we go through, at some point, is meant to be a comfort and encouragement to others.

Sometimes it takes the form of a listening ear, a hug, an "I understand, I've been there too." 

Sometimes God gives us the grace to share with others while we are suffering.

Sometimes God gives us the strength to share after He has renewed us....and maybe revived us?

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:28, NIV

The NASB version says, "that it may give grace to those who hear."

I don't know what the Lord has in store for me next.

I don't know what the Lord has in store for you.

But I pray that it may be for the building up of others.

I don't want to "remain tight in a bud."  I don't want to stay in the wilderness.  

I pray that it is a time for our family, and yours, to blossom into who God wants us to be.